It s Not Just Picture Perfect Dancing in a White Dress

It's Not Just a Dress
By Leslie Sturgeon, WIW Founder

I decided to write this post today because it was on my mind all day – although some of you will think it is quirky LOL. But I can be quirky at times so here goes.

There have been several times in my life that I made life-altering health decisions . . . the first was when I was 38 and had a total hysterectomy that catapulted me into menopause and ruined any chances of ever becoming a Mom in the traditional sense. The second was six years ago today when I had bariatric surgery (and 6 months later had my pesky gallbladder removed – see ya gallbladder). To read the blog post, CLICK HERE.

As I was going through my closet this morning, I stopped on this blue dress kind of hidden amongst the rest. And it took my breath away and emotions came flooding in. This is not just any dress, in my opinion. But why today when I passed so many other dresses in my closet? Here's a little bit about this dress: It was one of the first ones I bought at Macy's that wasn't in the "goddess" section. The first time I wore it was at my Mom's celebration of life as she loved blue and I also felt it represented our family's love of the beautiful blue water of Lake Winnipesaukee. That day I wore it with a necklace with waves etched in it and it contained both our parent's ashes. The next time I wore it was on one of my first dates ever in my life. Navigating the single life after only being with 2 people since I was 14 has been an interesting journey. I then gained weight back which caused major guilt and shame. And obviously the end to dresses that weren't a plus size.

What I was reminded through extensive inner work is that I am an emotional eater and the last 11 years have been rough – duh. But that my weight, curves, and cellulite don't define who I am at my core. I am not my thighs – good to know, right?  It is armor and patterns. But armor for what? Still trying to figure that out but what I know for sure is that life is different and so am I. A little bumped, bruised, grief stricken at times, lonely for my soulmate, but fully embracing what and who I am. And it feels good – damn good. Although I know the best is yet to come, I never lose sight of the here and now.

So why the emotion today with this piece of fabric? I took a chance and put it on – it fits me again. Not well and doesn't land in all the right spots but I wore it anyway . . . On this anniversary of a big life decision with my bariatric surgery.  A reminder of where I was, where I got to and where I will be again. It reminds me of Mom. It reminds me of my dating journey. Today I attended a ribbon cutting of a local business celebrating their expansion in my new role as the Executive Director of the Meredith Area Chamber of Commerce (I love this organization and local business – score!). The Chamber's brand colors are blue. We were on the shores of the Smile of the Great Spirit (Lake Winnipesaukee). It is colorful and bold like I have been told I am at times (unfiltered perhaps, too). Fear not my Women Inspiring Women pals, pink will return in the fall and I can't wait to get my hands on you!

Here is the moral of this very long story . . . as the saying goes, there are no coincidences in life. I was drawn on this "anniversary" day to this dress that once represented accomplishment, celebration, new beginnings, goodbyes, a bit of shame and guilt in that it was in the back of the closet for at least 2 years and didn't fit, then it fit again after some effort over the last year and who knows where this dress will lead me next. My advice and what I learned today – be present.  Reflect on and celebrate even the smallest moments. Cry it out if you need to. And perhaps even strut your stuff in a dress that is slightly too tight but own that shit if you do!

Now at the end of the day, it is back in the closet. The bra is off and you know what that means – this day is DONE. Goodnight blue dress – maybe we will hang out next week again. Just because! The end.

Leslie Sturgeon is the founder of Women Inspiring Women, and has been described as a reformed shy girl, a serial entrepreneur, a tireless leader of women in New Hampshire, a crazy dog lover and as someone who tackles life's challenges head on with a positive attitude. She has spent her life learning about herself, taking massive action outside of her comfort zone and lived to talk about it. Leslie has "been there" and continues to transform into the best version of herself right along side you. She lives life without regret while embracing today and overflowing with excitement about what is yet to come. Leslie also likes girl talk and chocolate and laughing so hard she snorts or pees (sometimes both simultaneously).

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Source: https://womeninspiring.com/2021/07/its-not-just-a-dress/

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